Words of Depth
by TragicallyDepressed
Summary: Love is blind. Gods are cruel. Wizards are somewhat forever. This is the reflection of Justin Russo.
1. Chapter 1

I. **Prelude/The Cruel Gods and Possible Wizards That Won't Stop.**

The world is cruel.

And I say this with great feeling and ferocious anger, that this cruel world is unfair and that when clear and opportune situations arise, they quickly fade out and vanish almost as fast as they appear.

This is my bitterness showing and I have every right to be, because the girl of my dreams **absolutely** **cannot** be the girl of my dreams.

It's not right. It's illegal. It's all those things taboo and shouldn't be talked about and definitely shouldn't be written about but then again here I am.

The first of many letters of which no one will ever see. My way of venting out toward the cruel gods and possible wizards that won't stop this feeling.

The feeling that won't go away. The hopelessness of a brother in love with his sister. And I really have to find a way to stop this now or I'll never stop.

Because not stopping is not an option.


	2. Chapter 2

II. **A Dangerous Way**

I remember when it happened.

College was going well. It was winter break but I was going through a lengthy rut, I haven't had a serious relationship with anyone since Juliet and that was _ages_ ago. I didn't seem to have any desire in starting anything new. Maybe that's my fault? _It's entirely my fault._

Alex had just come back from a date with some guy, some singer she mentioned. It was late at night and I was on the living room couch, watching stuff that prominently gets played at night but the second that door opened, the channel changed to the weather. _I was quicker than the Flash._

She stumbled in, wearing a tight black dress and with all fancied accessories included. She looked good, too good for some karaoke singer but then again I liked karaoke.

"Good night?" I asked and she looked buzzed possibly due to some alcohol but she was of legal age now.

She smiled back and plopped down beside me, grabbing a hold of my arm. She doesn't let it go for a while, her head lying on my shoulder. I can smell her perfume and we sat there. No talking-nothing, completely comfortable in silence.

"Where are Mom and Dad?" She asked.

"Sleeping."

"Good."

And that's when it happened. We get caught up. Now **we don't do anything**, we simply stare at each other, almost studying but studying usually means being forced to pay attention and I know we're not being forced to look at each other, not at that moment.

There was something there. I _was_ so sure of it. I could get lost in her eyes and evidently so could she. Things could happen but after maybe ten seconds, I panic and find a way out, "How much did you drink?"

She looked away, a hint of offense showing but the moment effectively killed. She stood up clumsily, I offered to help her stand up but she pushed away.

"Enough." She said with some vigor. I sunk back against the cushions.

"Were you waiting up for me?" She asked.

"They asked me too." I'm honest but I'd stay up regardless to make sure that singer boy doesn't try to sing his way to my sister's bed.

She looked at me, then the television and snatched the remote like a snake catching a rat. I'm too slow. _I'm __**not**__ the Flash_.

She pressed _last._

The channel changed. She stood and watched a few seconds, _long seconds_.

I covered my face, expected to hear a scream that would surely wake everyone in the house, maybe even the block and then naturally I'd be sent away to some Re-Education school or rather, something along those lines.

But when nothing happened, I looked back up and saw a tiny hint of intrigue on her beautiful face from what my mind could calculate. This doesn't help that she wore a low cut skirt. _And then those feelings return_. I grabbed the remote back, showed a brave face and changed the channel quickly.

She smirked, "Have fun."

She disappeared up the stairs. Not a word spoken after. She never brought it up to anyone but that was the moment I thought of her in a completely different way, a dangerous way.

Few days later, I left back for college and those feelings subsided for what I hoped would be forever but forever just isn't long enough.


	3. Chapter 3

III. **Distractions**

College gives you the freedom to experiment, the freedom to do things you couldn't possibly do before and most importantly the freedom to be who you want to be and discover your true self.

My true self is **scary** but what's even scarier is the amount of alcohol and pizza that gets digested or that my slob of a roommate digests on a daily basis. I want to kick him out but I don't want to be that guy who can't deal with fat people. _Nothing but love._

That's why I pay attention to my studies, my assignments because college is hard work after all. The classes I'm taking require a great deal of attention. No distractions, no football with the guys or helping the girls even though I should because the girls were pretty du-_I can't._

There's no time for fun. Fun is a distraction and there's no time for distractions and then of course: _Distraction_.

It was a late summer night. I went for a run on the campus field track. No one was there, only a few elderly people that power walked their laps but not me: I gunned it, full throttle. I'd like to think I'm a fit guy and maybe that's why all the girls in class stare at me instead of the books but I can't think that way.

I don't feel any different now that I'm in college. I still stutter whenever a girl of moderate interest pays attention to me but I blow it when my mouth opens _(I'm sure those aren't the words I should use)_ because all that mystery and pizazz they think I have disappears and the girl finds out that I'm not a catch, just another nerd.

Maybe I'm too pessimistic, maybe it's them-not me, maybe I'm delusional. Or maybe I'm too _broken beyond repair._

The run itself was fine. I did ten laps, worked up a sweat. The elderly people watched as I blew by them. I think one of them flipped me the bird but I couldn't tell for sure. I finished up quickly and went back to my dorm.

And there she was, Alex Russo sitting on the hallway bench, a few steps away. It was like a movie. She walked in slow motion and the light fixtures made her seem like she glowed just by her presence, she dressed a bit hippy-ish but I couldn't care because-_Uh-oh_.

"Hey." She said.

"What's up? What are you doing here?" I asked not accusingly, just casually surprised.

"Can't a sister visit his big brother in college or are there rules against that?"

"Not here but I'm sure other sisters would call first."

Her eyes wandered to Room 120, "Is this you?"

"Yeah but my room-mate might be in."

"I knocked before, no one answered."

"Well that's because he's probably-hold on."

I opened the door and surprise surprise, my roommate's passed out. Pizza boxes and beer cans all on the floor and even on my bed which I clearly stated should be clean at all times. She stood at the doorway and glanced inside.

"You boys sure know how to live."

I turned back to her, having failed to shield her from my living conditions.

"You want to go somewhere? I know this place."

She smiled and nodded. "Good. Wait here."

"Can I-"

I closed the door pretty hard.

We went to a small diner, off campus. I had eaten there a few times and it was okay. I didn't order anything to eat, only to drink some much needed chocolate milk. Alex ordered some soup.

I had no idea why she came to visit me. She hadn't before and I couldn't read her. She looked fine. She seemed fine. She looked good but she always looked good. _Stop._

"So, checking up on me?"

"I'm in trouble." She blurted out. My eyes narrowed. _Not impressed, figures. _

"Of course you are. What did you do? What do you need?" I asked, expecting some sort of money issue or boy problem.

"I swear I didn't do anything this time, I just need some help."

"Like help with a spell or?"

"What? No. If I needed that, a simple phone call would've done the trick."

"Don't you mean a simple spell?"

"I don't need a spell. I just need… You're the only person that has the guts to tell me the truth."

At that point, I didn't like the conversation. I didn't like where it was going, I didn't want her to ask anything that would reveal too much about me even though she knows everything about me. Well, _almost everything._

I looked at the counter, wondering when my damn chocolate milk was coming. I hesitated for the longest time and asked,

"The truth? What do you mean?"

**_"Do you love me?"_**

This couldn't be happening. Had she acquired psychic powers? There's no way she could've known how I felt about her. I didn't show any signs saying I love her, did I? I haven't talked to anyone about my feelings for her. But then again, what does she mean by love? She asked with such hope in her eyes and then I'm getting lost in her eyes again. I quickly looked at the counter, _chocolate milk anytime?_

I played dumb, "Of course, I do sis. That's it? That's what you wanted to know?"

I smiled and talked faster than usual, hoping to get away from the subject. The chocolate milk finally came and I drink it up in a hurry. She watched as I drank the whole thing…

"I just feel that something's changed between us. We don't see each other anymore, we barely talk and when we do, it's nothing fun."

"Sis, I'm in college, I have no time for fun and as for everything else: You have my number. I can come and visit but only visit."

"That's another thing… I've moved out."

_That shocked me_. _Why has no one told me anything?_ At eighteen and a half, Alex Russo moved out?

"What happened?"

"I told Mom and Dad I didn't want to go to college right away, I wanted to take a year off and they didn't like that."

"So they kicked you out?!" I nearly shouted some other patrons watched us.

"NO. I just moved out. They were okay with it. I just didn't like the way they wanted to control what I would do after high school." She admitted.

"Where are you staying? Do you need money?" I asked like rapid fire.

"Downtown apartment, I have money. I'm _accounted_ for."

Accounted? _Where's she getting these new words all of a sudden?_ I knew then something was up, call it brotherly intuition and it all becomes clear.

"You moved in with that karaoke singer, didn't you?"

The waitress gives her the bowl of soup, its tomato. She stirs away with a spoon and doesn't answer which bothers me, actually wait-it infuriated me. She moved out because of some guy with good pitch. She must be whipped. _Is this jealousy? Nah._

"It's that serious?"

"I love him. He's a great guy. He's a..."

My mind phased out after she went on about her boyfriend's achievements. Something about being the next big thing in music, how he'd promise to show her the world if she would come along. I really couldn't care about the tasteless music world or his terrible music, I only cared about her.

"That's great but you're still young and you're going to put everything on hold for some guy?"

"I know what I'm doing." She said with such fire. She was going through with this. There was no talking out of it and I had to support her but I'll be honest, this was a **big** mistake. I don't want her to screw up her life. She needs a normal one but then again _Who Am I _to pass judgment on normal?

After the diner, I dropped her off at some High Rise Apartment in the city; she said she lived there now.

"Want to go up? Meet him?" She offered.

"It's late. I got to hit the books." I lied, I'd much rather hit the guy's face a couple times but that would show too many cards. _Jealousy level risen_. She hugged me, I hugged back tightly. I gave a quick peck on the cheek and nothing more.

"If you ever need me, just call."

"Why can't I visit you?"

"Visit only if it's important. I really need to focus back there." _Otherwise known as, I can't deal with you talking about your boyfriend's next single._

"I can help..."

I shook the thought off. _Distraction._

"I don't... I'm trying to be normal, Wizard." I joked and she smiled back.

We left it there and on the subway home, I'm thinking of what's best for her and what's best for me. Clearly she's got it all figured out and she's way ahead of me, looking past me and I'm stuck waiting. _Waiting for something I shouldn't be waiting for,_ w_aiting for-_

I shouldn't be waiting. I got home and drank a cold beer from the cooler. It's something.

A few days later, I asked a girl out. Her name's Lexi, she's _desirable_ and I stutter but she found it cute and we set up a first date.

I figured **screw distractions**, this is college.

(A/N: Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's stopping by to read my stuff. This chapter was really a doozy. You see I'm writing on that thin line of morality, if I go across it then there's no coming back.)


	4. Chapter 4

VI: **I Lied Part One**

Lexi's nice.

She's almost as tall as me but then again I feel short. She's got striking blond hair and she vaguely gets my comic references but there was a time she mentioned a Super-Batman? _Red flag. _

She has dreams of building big houses in poor areas. Places like Haiti and Turkey. It's admirable. She wants to save the world. I just want to learn more about history, more about human history.

Who are we? Why we are here? Where exactly are we going? Who was the first magician_? It was Mickey, wasn't it?_ She finds it honorable and desirable and after a few more dates, I finally get the courage to kiss her. It was nice. Not too desperate and not too overwhelming.

But we don't get further than nice. She had just broken up with her boyfriend who ironically enough is a singer. _Are all singers cruel?_ We agreed to stay friends rather than complicate things and at the very least, I feel better that someone noticed me.

**I lied.**

She's a redhead and we don't go slow. We go fast. _Lightspeed._ I slept with her on the first date and after that, _it was done_. Done everywhere we went, in the theaters, the classrooms, the cafeteria, even the showers. She was fixed so there weren't any future Justin's on the way. She was quite the wildcat and at times I wished we'd slow down.

We connect on a physical level, emotionally? Not as much. She does mention an ex-boyfriend who is a singer but that he's on tour most of the time and recently left her for someone perky. We continue to be an item, an item of lust or love? I don't know yet. I enjoy her company and I think I'm starting to get used to us.

For Thanksgiving, I took the first step and asked if she wanted to come meet the parents. She went and she's a delight to everyone at dinner. Max can't take his eyes off her. Mom and Dad shower her with embarrassing stories about me. (_Of course, when I'm still in the room_) No one suspects her hand under the table on my lap, reaching…

But I do get looks from Alex though. She's not talkative and she's alone tonight, something about her singer currently on tour somewhere.

Alex looked at me and silently mouths, "Bathroom." She excused herself from the table and headed up the stairs. I looked at Lexi and pretended to be ill, needing to freshen up. She wished for my quick return.

Upstairs, I noticed all the lights off except the Bathroom. I knocked and saw Alex looking at the mirror, crying. I closed the door for privacy.

"Alex, what's wrong?"

"You."


	5. Chapter 5

IV: **I Lied Part Two**

Alex doesn't cry too often. I remembered when we were younger, there were times she fell off her bike and scraped her knee but she didn't cry at all, she just got back up again and after fell but she was tough.

Nothing could possibly faze her or shake her but there she was crying in front of me, spilling extremely rare tears for me. _Uh-oh._

She sat on the edge of the bathtub, some crumpled tissue paper on hand. I watched her wiped some tears away.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy."

"A little too late for that, Sis."

She smiled, the mood considerably lightened. I sat beside her on the edge, take the tissue from her hand and threw it in the trash.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"Europe, specifically Berlin."

"Are things good?"

"They're fine. It's just-I miss him sometimes."

Her head leaned on my shoulder and she clutched my arm.

"Shouldn't you be telling him that?"

"I'm telling you." She lifts her face to mine and once again, those beautiful eyes do their magic. _Is this a spell?_

"Why?"

She looked away, "Well, you seem to have it all figured out. Lexi seems like a nice girl."

"She is. She's really nice. You would like her."

She shrugged and bit her lip, "I kind of don't want to." _Never one to mince words._

"Why? Are you jealous?"

She scoffed, "I don't do jealous. It's just seeing you and her together..."

I noticed her hand enclosed in mine. _Oh boy._

"This is stupid. This is insane but I need to know..."

We're mere inches apart. She's looking at me like she's searching for answers. _Dangerous answers. _I might have squeezed her hand in fear, fear that I'm being put on the spot.

She asked, "If you have anything you want to tell me?"

Once in a while, you come across a life changing moment. When you first walk, talk, drive, get an A, get an F, fight and cry, love, second love and so on. Those moments aren't all that life changing compared to this.

This was one of those character defining moments.

I, Justin Russo had to make a decision. To follow and act with my bleeding heart or to listen to my voice of warranted reason. Truly sad because one way or the other, things were going to change. It would no longer be the same between us. She was going to see me as the bad guy either way. Now I don't want to be the bad guy but _someone_ has to be.

So **I lied**, "No."

I left without waiting for her response. I returned to the others at the dinner table. Lexi continued to woo away my parents and they really liked her. Max as well. Alex took a few minutes to come back down. She was unusually and uncomfortably quiet.

We don't acknowledge each other for the rest of the night.

I had no regrets because I've done the right thing.

**I lied... **

Because the right thing seems vague and incomplete so I don't listen to my voice of reason. _This bleeding heart wants what it wants_. Too much blood loss I suppose.

Right now, I'm so many things: I'm weak, I'm utterly pathetic and I'm totally lost in those beautiful eyes of hers.

I made the first move, leaned in and kissed her. What a kiss. _Tongue included. _I don't know if she kissed back completely but I do know we kissed long enough for us to stand up and for me to press her up against the bathroom sink.

I pulled back. She looked at me like stopping was wrong. We're both caught up in the moment.

"What do we do?"


	6. Chapter 6

VI: **The New Year**

A once hopeful year of progression and growth ends tonight. I looked back at everything I've done. The work I've completed, the assignments I passed, the friends I've made and the girls I've kissed. Well there were only two but _this is me_ we're talking about.

I'm still with Lexi. We're officially an item. She took me to visit her parents a few days ago. They were nice but I couldn't help that her father gave such stern I'm-going-to-kill-you stares. I was being targeted for assassination. I brought my concerns to Lexi who said it was normal and that her father always scared all the guys she's dated and kissed.

Kiss. **The kiss. **Alex.

We don't talk for a month.

I don't feel bad about it and in some ways it's better. Thanksgiving was way too emotional. _Must be the turkey_. We needed time apart or more importantly I needed the time to reflect on what the hell happened to me.

What's changed me over the past year? I'm supposed to be the stable one of the clan. I'm straight-forward. I'm tidy. I'm honest. I had a heart of gold which is considerably rusted right now.

I'd like to know how she felt about what happened but there are repercussions. A part of me wants to explain that we were just caught up in the moment and the other part wants to tell her I love her. _Bad_.

I didn't necessarily help the situation either by kissing her back. It took a lot for me to pull away and stop kissing heaven because that's what it felt like. Now me and Lexi make out frequently but it doesn't even compare to how much passion that kiss had because it just felt right. _Control yourself, man._

Lexi wanted to go out. She insisted on this end of the year party at a busy nightclub. We dressed for the occasion, I had a never worn suit lying around and she wore a shiny bright dress. She met a couple of her friends, some of whom were apparent models. She disappeared with them, leaving me to mingle, trying my absolute best to not look out of place. _Where are the books?_

I sat at the bar stools, checked my phone for anything to pay attention to. I nursed a drink and it was quite good actually. My voicemail had a new message. I tuned out the bar music.

"Justin. It's Alex. I don't know if you'll get this but can you call me back? Can you see me?" She sounded distressed all throughout.

I finished my drink and went to find Lexi. I spoke with one of her friends and she mentioned Lexi was in the Ladies Room. I waited by the hallway and from the hallway out came this tall blond muscular man. His hair was messed and his clothing wrinkled. _Someone had a good night._

The tall stranger noticed me watching, "Something wrong?"

I shook my head and he walked past me. Lexi appeared after, her red hair frazzled from before. She was pretty jumpy and a bit sweaty. I told her about Alex's message and she looked at me weirdly.

"She's probably just drunk. We have to stay till midnight." She whined.

_I hated whining_. Why the hell am I even here?

"She's my sister, Lexi."

"And I'm your girlfriend! Justin, we've been going out for six months now and I haven't asked anything of you except to be there for me. I need you here."

"Why are we here? Why aren't we at home?"

"To celebrate the new year, to celebrate us."

Her arms pulled me in and she kissed me. She smelled weird, _like cologne?_

The DJ blasted a Top 40 song. It was all perfect and I guessed it would be the time to say it, calm her fears and say the words I haven't said to her. Not because I didn't want to or that she didn't deserve it but more of the fact that I wasn't ready to let go of that hope, that forbidden hope. It was time to move forward. _It's the New Year after all._

I pulled back and smiled, "Lexi, I lo-"

I stopped as my eyes wandered behind her. The tall muscular man from before appeared. Lexi turned around and looked at him, the man turned away and quickly disappeared. _Now I have questions._

"Do you know him?"

"Who?"

"That guy over there, he looked like he knew you."

"What guy? I don't know him."

I looked into her eyes because lying usually involved the eyes but I'm not a good reader so I can't tell. I dropped it and asked her, "Look, can we please go to my sister's place? I'm worried about her."

"It's always your sister. She probably got dumped again for the thousandth time."

_Whoa._

"Even so, I just want to check up on her. No one should be alone for New Year's."

She looked at me, annoyed. "I don't want to leave my friends."

"I'll come back then."

She shook her head, "If you're not back by midnight..."

"I'm coming back."

I leave and I'm glad. _Must be the alcohol._ We're usually not like this. We're never like this. We don't fight and maybe that's a problem. We're supposed to be with each other**?**

I'm at Alex's apartment. _The really tall building_. I'm pretty sure she wants to talk about what happened. I'm not scared because I'm all set on telling a lie, that I didn't feel anything and that she wasn't herself and that it must've been the turkey.

The elevator stopped. I found her door, Room 920.

I knocked twice, "Alex? It's me, Justin."

There's no response. I picked up my cell phone and dialed her number. Straight to voicemail. My ears to the door and I can faintly hear her ringtone.

That's not good.

"Alex, open up." I'm worried. I stretched out my leg a little and pray the landlord doesn't kick her out because of a busted door.

I kicked with all my might and..._ Not a single budge_. It even hurts my foot.

The door opened. _Figures_.

A messy blond haired man stepped out in a yellow bathrobe. He had poorly shaped tattoos on his skinny arms. He was wearing too many gold rings for one finger and a gold chain around his neck.

"To what, may I ask are you kicking my door for?" He had a noticeable British accent.

"Is Alex here?"

His eyes grew widely, "You must be Justin! Put it there, I'm Phillip."

Phillip extended his hand, I shook it politely.

"Finally nice to meet you, you weren't there for Thanksgiving."

"My band was on tour. We rocked it."

And then that awkward silence, it goes on a few seconds. _This is the guy that Alex wants?_

"Is Alex here?"

"No. She went out with her friends."

"Did she have her phone?"

"I don't think so. You want to come in?"

I looked at my watch, it was just past eleven. _There's still time. _

It was a very luxurious suite. Very modern. All black everything. The rugs, the decor, the curtains and even the lamp. There were platinum records framed on the wall, leather couches and a big screen television to put my living conditions to shame.

He popped out from one of the rooms with a cell phone in hand. "She must've left it."

"This is quite the place."

"Thanks. I have five: one in New York, two in L.A."

"The other three?"

"Not in the States. Have you listened to some of my stuff?"

"I've been busy with College."

"Oh. I see. When you get around to it then, ay?"

I nodded. _Lies._

"Between you and me, I love your sister. I'm thankful she found me. She picked me up when I was at a low, the lowest of the low. The very bottom."

"She can do that."

"And you don't have to worry about her. She's in good hands."

_Damn. Phillip might as well be a prince. He's perfect. He's exactly what she needs. What she deserves. He's everything normal and he's everything I'm not._

"We should get a beer sometime."

"Of course, how else would I really know?"

We both laughed and I leave after.

I had to get back, back to Lexi. It was close to midnight. I hailed a cab and he dropped me off at the club. The line was even busier than before and the bouncer looked in distress. I asked some people in front if I could cut ahead and they simply laughed. I stood at the back of the line _like a fool_. I dialed Lexi's number but she wasn't answering.

Just then, a few rowdy ladies exited. It was Lexi and her friends. I called out but she doesn't hear me due to all those in line shouting ahead of me. I saw her looking at her phone and putting it away.

_What?_

The tall stranger from before appeared behind the group. He said something and they all laughed. He hugged Lexi and gave her an open-mouthed kiss.

_What!?_

I'm about to go on a complete war path but I stopped. Just like before when I stopped myself from telling Lexi I loved her._ Is she the one? Did I even love her? Did I truly love her? Wasn't she supposed to be a distraction? A distraction from a distraction. __**The distraction.**_

I couldn't watch any longer.

_What a way to end the year_.

I arrived at my dorm amidst all the partying. It's 11:57 so everything was loud. Most of the dorm rooms were open. A lot of champagne and party hats going around. Someone I don't know handed me a party hat and I put it on and let out a cheap unenthusiastic, "Woo."

"That's the spirit!"

I opened the door and closed it right away. I turned the lights on.

"Hey."

I flinched back and see Alex standing there beside my computer, wearing black everything. She also has one of the party hats and a bottle of champagne on hand.

"Jesus Alex, don't scare me like that!" I take my coat off and placed it on the chair.

She laughed.

"How'd you get in here?"

"I'm a wizard, Justin."

Of course. She handed the bottle of champagne to me and I grabbed a few cups lying around.

I poured the champagne into the cup and handed it to her.

"No Lexi?"

I shook my head. Her face softened.

"I got your message, I went to visit you. Phillip seems like a great guy."

"Uh-huh." She stood beside me. I poured my own drink and even took a swig off the bottle. The champagne is quite good. A dash of strawberry? I studied the label.

We heard the loud countdown from the hall.

9...8...7 "Alex." 6...5...4 "Justin." 3...2...1...

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" shouted the crowd outside. Horns blew. A whole lot of Woos. Constant banging of the walls.

"Happy New Year, Alex."

We touched cups and drink. She kept those eyes on me throughout. I stopped drinking.

"Listen, Alex. There's something you should know about me..."

She kissed me.

I dropped the cup and kissed her back. There was much more passion this time around. _I needed this. I needed her._ Her arms around me. I cupped her face and neck. It's like she melting in my arms. I stopped. She looked at me. We're still very close.

"Alex..." I asked with all honesty and all hope,

"Stop me?"

She doesn't and we don't.

* * *

(A/N: Thanks guys for the continued views and reviews. I seriously love looking at this traffic graph they have here. FF didn't have that before. Just to be clear about the _"I Lied"_ chapter. It really was tricky to write and I understand it being a bit confusing but it's mostly the _"I Lied"_ part you should be looking for and yes _the kiss did happen_. As for the next chapter, it's quite possible this is wrapping up so the next one will be close to perfect, I can only hope... Peace and love because I ain't got enough.)


	7. Chapter 7

VII:** The Correction**

_This could last forever. _

I shouldn't be this happy.

There must be laws against being this happy. _Technically we did break a law._

It's early but the sky slowly begins to glow. I haven't moved an inch. She's very warm. We're covered beneath my clean sheets. Alex's arms curled up against me, her head resting against my shoulder. She's sound asleep. I brushed some strands of hair away from her face. She mumbled something I couldn't quite make out.

My phone had tons of messages. I felt like throwing it in the hallway but I don't because it's an expensive phone_._ Then reality sets in: What's she going to say when she wakes up?

The champagne bottle lies discarded and empty. _How much alcohol was in that?_ Is that why we went as far as we did? And what do I say then? "_Sorry, we were drunk and it's not going to happen again..."_

But I want us to happen again. _Stop!_

**I do.** We were gentle at first but as things progressed, we really got in to it. _Three times. _I wasn't a virgin and she knew what she was doing. I do recall her being on top. _You should really stop._

It couldn't be the alcohol, it doesn't affect me all that much and I know deep down inside, I was in the right state of mind. I only hope she was too but I don't know. I could always confess my long undying love for her, that I want to be with her but what would that mean? Not just to us but to people we know. Just thinking about Mom, Dad and Max's reactions terrify me. What will they say? _Terrible things. _What will they think? _Terrible things._ What will they do? _Terrible things._

I never should've kissed her. It never should've gotten to this point. This all could've been avoided and yet I wanted it to happen.

She wakes up. I closed my eyes right away to act asleep.

"Justin?" She said in a mere slumber. My eyes opened slowly, "Alex."

"Did you just wake up?"

I peered over at the clock. 07:00.

"Yeah."

She gingerly got up from the bed and searched for her clothes. I sat up correctly, fully aware of what was happening. She was leaving and she's already regretting everything. _My fate sealed._

She looked at me, annoyed as she grabbed some of her clothes.

I asked, "What are you doing?"

"I hate liars."

_Wait? _

"Who's lying?"

"You didn't just wake up. You were thinking about what happened."

"And what exactly happened?"

"You tell me! You're the one who started it."

She's right. I did start everything. I hated when she was right.

She put on her coat and walked to the door. I quickly got up and stopped her from opening it. Her back against the wall and I'm facing her. I'm still naked.

She looks so confused, "What am I to you, Justin?"

That's a great question.

What am I? People would label me a sick person and rightfully so, she is my sister, she has the same blood, we have the same parents and I'm the one who initiated everything. I'm the worst kind of person, someone who's selfish and doesn't know what true love is.

And yet, this feels like I'm in love. Because I wouldn't have started any of this if I didn't think something was there and I absolutely-without-question know **there is** something.

True love has no boundaries when it comes to me and her. The Gods won't understand and I know my soul will burn for this. But it's already been tortured, it's conflicted, it's biased and it's human. We all make mistakes and I know this isn't a mistake. **This is the correction**.

"You're my everything and I can't stand that I'm not supposed to have you."

Her stare softened.

"If you leave right now, I'll try to forget everything that happened. It'll be hard, trust me but I'll try because you want me to." My head lowers, a pointless option for a way out.

"Is that what you think I want?"

Her eyes tear up. I shook my head.

"I only want you, Alex."

I leaned in and kissed her slowly. A short gentle kiss and her arms envelop around my neck as she kissed me back. I stopped and pulled away. It's her eyes. The eyes of hope and passion_._ The eyes that forge deep into a soul and we're lost. _Truly lost __and I don't care anymore..._

She grabbed my hand and placed it against her chest, over her heart.

"You can have me then." She said.

We go back to bed and plan things out for our new world ahead.

(A/N: Truly a difficult chapter to write, there were so many ways I could've taken it but this was the more ideal and hopeful. I'm a hopeless romantic. This is the end for now. I hoped you all enjoyed it. I'm taking a break but keep in touch and thanks for all the fish.)


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